Becoming Friends with Time

by Joan C Webb

“To love life is to love time. Time is the stuff life is made of.” Benjamin Franklin

This quote from Benjamin Franklin intrigues me. Living in harmony with time. Agreeing not to compete against time. Becoming friends with time. What a relief-filled possibility! A colleague surprised me recently when she said, “I’m in the process of changing my philosophy about time and work—and beginning to think that maybe fulfillment and success are not found in keeping my nose to the grindstone every minute. I’ve decided to try to be a bit easier on myself—to take breaks, to pause and talk with fellow workers and to rest when appropriate. However, I admit I feel extremely uncomfortable about this. Am I doing the right thing?” Perhaps God allows finite human beings (that’s you and me!) to live within the confines of time to protect us from anxiety overload and burnout. Changing our concept of time as a slave driver or tyrant (or wet blanket) to that of a friend may help us become more peaceful and content. Wouldn’t that be a refreshing way to live? And I am sure that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on that day when Christ Jesus comes back again (Phil. 1:6, NLT).

Lord, Thanks for the safety of time limitations. Keep reminding me that no is not a naughty word. I let go of my need to do everything and serve everyone. I’m trusting that You’ll finish in me what You’ve started.

I wrote the above message about TIME several years ago (it appears on page 141 of The Relief of Imperfection.) And I journaled about this personal “aha” several years before that. When I read it again today, it felt new. Just another reminder that I’m on an ongoing journey of life as a “recovering” workaholic (or action-addict or over-doer, whatever you want to call it!) What about you? How do you feel about TIME?

Calming Self-Doubt

by Joan C Webb

Doubts About Failure–or Success?

Have you ever suspected that you (or a loved one) are not only a little afraid of failure, but apprehensive of success, as well? I have. Self-doubt and the related thoughts and behaviors are no fun for us in today’s economic atmosphere. Neither were they for those who lived when Jesus walked the earth.

Exhausted and discouraged from working (fishing) all night with no success, Simon and his crew decided to take Jesus’ suggestion, even though it seemed pointless. They tried again. Immediately, fish came from seemingly nowhere. They signaled another boat. Filled to the brim with the catch, both boats started to sink with the weight of so many fish.

An amazed Simon Peter begged, “Lord, please get out of here. I’m not good enough for You.”

“Don’t worry, Peter” said Jesus. “From now on, you’ll be working with Me.”

It’s Okay!

Some of us, like Peter, focus on our failures and withdraw. “Be assured that the voices of shame and self-condemnation that speak in our minds with such harshness are not of God,” writes Marsha Crockett in her book Break Through. “These voices are the illusions others have spoken into us. When we accept what they say as the complete truth about ourselves, they keep us from God.”

Peter feared getting close to Jesus because he listened to a faulty inner message. Yet Jesus calmed his fears with words of assurance: “Don’t be afraid to get to know Me and trust Me. I have a plan. We’ll work together, and it’ll be just fine.” (Read Luke 5:8, 10)

Today’s Prayer:

Lord, like You did for Peter, please calm my self-doubt.

Making It Personal:

Take a step toward God today. He’s right there.

Gutting It Out?

By Joan C. Webb I’ve worked so hard. I’m disappointed in my relationships. My mind is fried. My body hurts. And I’m angry. I wonder if I’ll ever be whole and happy again. I wrote these words when I finally admitted that I couldn’t “gut it out” anymore and that I needed help. I experienced chronic pain as a result of my over-doing, over-caring, over-achieving and over-spiritualizing. I figured that if I just tried a little harder, everything would have to get better. But it didn’t work. Disappointment took over, my dreams eaten up. Perhaps you identify, whether completely or only a little, in one specific slice of your life. It hurts, and you wonder if that part of you will ever be lush again. God promises those of us who choose to believe Him that He will repay us for the hurtful times. Often I can’t fathom how He will accomplish it for me, and I don’t presume to know how He will do it for you. Yet trusting God is definitely an adventure worthy of our faith.

PRAYER:

Lord, even as I realize that my life will never be perfectly perfect on this earth, I believe that You can work wonders in my disappointment and repay me for the destructive times. I’m a little afraid, but I want to trust You.

MAKE IT PERSONAL:

How have you been trying to “gut it out”?

GOD’S WORD: I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten. . . . You will have plenty to eat, until you are full, you will praise . . . your God, who has worked wonders for you. Joel 2:25-26

**Adapted from It’s a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life

Spiritual Conversations By Joan Webb

I love studying Scripture and the meanings of the words in the original language–and then paraphrasing the verse based on my learning/s. Here’s an example with a verse God gave me as I recovered from burnout.

“The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.” Is. 58:11

Dear God, You’re my source and authority. You repeatedly point out the way before me. You fulfill my needs and expectations when I feel dried up–and generously offer me power to live my day with healthy thoughts and actions. Because of you I have the promise of becoming like a well-watered garden full of fresh insight and fertile ideas. Thank You for giving me strength for this day and celebration hope for tomorrow. Joan C. Webb paraphrase of Isaiah 58:11

Developing Balance

Jesus grew relationally, physically, and spiritually while here on earth. He also developed prudence in handling life’s varied circumstances. (Luke 2:52: And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.) By His Son’s example, God affirms that He is interested and concerned with your total person. He wants you–and all His children–to be balanced individuals, continually maturing in each life area including your “Child of God” and “Self-Care Manager” roles. God cares about all areas of your life. He wants to help you balance your roles and goals. Yet balance itself has no specific objective. It is a constant state of motion and flex. To help you understand this, imagine the following:

• You stood up and twirled around several times.

• You ran in place for several minutes and skipped to the corner of the room and back.

• You twirled around twice more.

• Then you immediately tried to balance on one foot.

Now imagine the subtle adjustments you had to make in your foot and body to maintain equilibrium. This imaginary activity is designed to give you a picture of what you’re attempting to do in balancing the different aspects and roles of your life during any given day. Developing balance is a skill—with the constant give and take. Today consider asking God to help you cultivate this skill. You can do it. It’s a doable and reasonable process! Joan C. Webb Author, Speaker/Teacher, Life Coach, IW LifePlan Facilitator www.joancwebb.com

Whatcha Waiting For?

By Joan C. Webb, Author Speaker/Life Coach www.joancwebb.com “I thought I would make intentional decisions about what I would do with my life after my son left for college,” said Susan, a business owner from Minnesota. “Then it dawned on me: ‘Why not make the most of these years . . . before he leaves?’” How often have you said (aloud or silently), When I finish school. . . or After I get married. . . or When the kids are all in school. . . or As soon as I get that promotion. . . or When I pay off the bills. . . or If my spouse would just shape up. . . or When my children are on their own. . . THEN I’ll get serious about making goals and partnering with God to follow-through? Today is a gift from God, worth enjoying, savoring, planning for and living. Puts a new spin on the verse, “This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it”*, doesn’t it?

This is the day the LORD has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118: 24 NLT

Living Intentionally: Envious No More

Living Intentionally: Envious No More

By Joan C. Webb, Author/Speaker, Life Coach

www.joancwebb.com

“If I live intentionally, being true to my own personality, serving out of my God-given giftedness and passion, I no longer feel the urge to envy anyone else’s career, marriage, talents, body or mission.”

The day I jotted these liberating words into my journal, I sighed with relief. Although I rarely voiced envy, I was secretly disappointed that others had fulfilled their dreams but I had not. I wanted to honor God as the woman He created me to be. Yet I wasn’t certain how to do that and I was afraid to even try.

Afraid that God (and others) would think I was selfish if I took the initiative to nurture my interests and gifts. Afraid that events in my past may have canceled out my credibility. Afraid that I might misinterpret God and make “wrong” decisions.

Then I met a new friend, Carol Travilla, and together we embarked on a journey to discover how to live courageously and intentionally for God. We learned that being “intentional” means becoming proactive instead of having a knee-jerk reaction to situations.

We met other intentional women with hearts for God. We’re all learning to accept what we cannot change about our season and circumstances, making courageous and deliberate decisions about the things we can change. At the same time, we’ve decided not to let the attitudes and pressures of other people unduly influence us. We long to be focused and directed, not floundering or driven. (And that’s a bold goal in this action-obsessed culture!)

Gradually we recognized other perks from learning to live intentionally such as stress reduction, increased self-respect, healthier relationships and less over-commitment and burnout.

How about you? Perhaps your circumstances are not exactly as you envisioned they would be at this stage of your life. Yet when you come as you are to partner with God, you can be assured that He is in the process of fulfilling His commitment to guide and produce good in you. (Eph. 2:10) You will gain courage to be yourself and stop playing the “comparison game.”

Intentional Living: Releasing People-pleasing

Intentional Living: Releasing People-pleasing

By Joan C. Webb, Author/Speaker, Life Coach www.joancwebb.com

I’ve learned (well, I am learning!) several relief-producing truths. Here’s one. People-pleasing negates personal and spiritual growth. Trying to be everything others want is an automatic crazy-maker–especially during holidays. Besides that, it wears us out and distances us from those we care about.

When you and I try too hard to please the people around us, we attempt to accomplish the impossible. How do we decide which human being to satisfy—a parent, child, colleague, boss, friend, pastor, sibling, spouse? Each of these individuals has a different image of us and often their expectations or plans for us are not consistent with our own dreams, abilities, gifts, or God-given calling.

These wise words of Paul help me: “Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts.” 1 Thessalonians 2:4. What one small step can you take this season to release your tendency to over-please and to increase your sense of peace?

Surrender? You’re Kidding!

By Joan C. Webb, Author/Speaker, Life Coach www.joancwebb.com

Gaining information about yourself is useful. It can help you choose a career, improve your skills, or assist you in understanding relationships at work and home. However, the most beneficial result of understanding who you are, where you have been, and what you desire surfaces when you take what you’ve learned and surrender it all to the One Who created and liberated you.

Surrendering moves you from being self-centered and confined to becoming God-centered and free. You can then relax, be yourself and trust. Yet surrendering is a choice. Although God doesn’t force you to commit to Him, He does invite you to join Him in His loving and powerful work here on earth. Surrendering seems counter-productive. Yet it’s the ultimate adventure!

“Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust him, and he will help you.” (Ps. 37:5 NLT)

Living Intentionally: Envious No More

By Joan C. Webb, Author/Speaker, Life Coach www.joancwebb.com

“If I live intentionally, being true to my own personality, serving out of my God-given giftedness and passion, I no longer feel the urge to envy anyone else’s career, marriage, talents, body or mission.”

The day I jotted these liberating words into my journal, I sighed with relief. Although I rarely voiced envy, I was secretly disappointed that others had fulfilled their dreams but I had not. I wanted to honor God as the woman He created me to be. Yet I wasn’t certain how to do that and I was afraid to even try.

Afraid that God (and others) would think I was selfish if I took the initiative to nurture my interests and gifts. Afraid that events in my past may have canceled out my credibility. Afraid that I might misinterpret God and make “wrong” decisions.

Then I met a new friend, Carol Travilla, and together we embarked on a journey to discover how to live courageously and intentionally for God. We learned that being “intentional” means becoming proactive instead of having a knee-jerk reaction to situations.

We met other intentional women with hearts for God. We’re all learning to accept what we cannot change about our season and circumstances, making courageous and deliberate decisions about the things we can change. At the same time, we’ve decided not to let the attitudes and pressures of other people unduly influence us. We long to be focused and directed, not floundering or driven. (And that’s a bold goal in this action-obsessed culture!)

Gradually we recognized other perks from learning to live intentionally such as stress reduction, increased self-respect, healthier relationships and less over-commitment and burnout.

How about you? Perhaps your circumstances are not exactly as you envisioned they would be at this stage of your life. Yet when you come as you are to partner with God, you can be assured that He is in the process of fulfilling His commitment to guide and produce good in you. (Eph. 2:10) You will gain courage to be yourself and stop playing the “comparison game.”

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