Spiritual Conversations By Joan Webb

I love studying Scripture and the meanings of the words in the original language–and then paraphrasing the verse based on my learning/s. Here’s an example with a verse God gave me as I recovered from burnout.

“The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.” Is. 58:11

Dear God, You’re my source and authority. You repeatedly point out the way before me. You fulfill my needs and expectations when I feel dried up–and generously offer me power to live my day with healthy thoughts and actions. Because of you I have the promise of becoming like a well-watered garden full of fresh insight and fertile ideas. Thank You for giving me strength for this day and celebration hope for tomorrow. Joan C. Webb paraphrase of Isaiah 58:11

Developing Balance

Jesus grew relationally, physically, and spiritually while here on earth. He also developed prudence in handling life’s varied circumstances. (Luke 2:52: And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.) By His Son’s example, God affirms that He is interested and concerned with your total person. He wants you–and all His children–to be balanced individuals, continually maturing in each life area including your “Child of God” and “Self-Care Manager” roles. God cares about all areas of your life. He wants to help you balance your roles and goals. Yet balance itself has no specific objective. It is a constant state of motion and flex. To help you understand this, imagine the following:

• You stood up and twirled around several times.

• You ran in place for several minutes and skipped to the corner of the room and back.

• You twirled around twice more.

• Then you immediately tried to balance on one foot.

Now imagine the subtle adjustments you had to make in your foot and body to maintain equilibrium. This imaginary activity is designed to give you a picture of what you’re attempting to do in balancing the different aspects and roles of your life during any given day. Developing balance is a skill—with the constant give and take. Today consider asking God to help you cultivate this skill. You can do it. It’s a doable and reasonable process! Joan C. Webb Author, Speaker/Teacher, Life Coach, IW LifePlan Facilitator www.joancwebb.com

Whatcha Waiting For?

By Joan C. Webb, Author Speaker/Life Coach www.joancwebb.com “I thought I would make intentional decisions about what I would do with my life after my son left for college,” said Susan, a business owner from Minnesota. “Then it dawned on me: ‘Why not make the most of these years . . . before he leaves?’” How often have you said (aloud or silently), When I finish school. . . or After I get married. . . or When the kids are all in school. . . or As soon as I get that promotion. . . or When I pay off the bills. . . or If my spouse would just shape up. . . or When my children are on their own. . . THEN I’ll get serious about making goals and partnering with God to follow-through? Today is a gift from God, worth enjoying, savoring, planning for and living. Puts a new spin on the verse, “This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it”*, doesn’t it?

This is the day the LORD has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118: 24 NLT

Living Intentionally: Envious No More

Living Intentionally: Envious No More

By Joan C. Webb, Author/Speaker, Life Coach

www.joancwebb.com

“If I live intentionally, being true to my own personality, serving out of my God-given giftedness and passion, I no longer feel the urge to envy anyone else’s career, marriage, talents, body or mission.”

The day I jotted these liberating words into my journal, I sighed with relief. Although I rarely voiced envy, I was secretly disappointed that others had fulfilled their dreams but I had not. I wanted to honor God as the woman He created me to be. Yet I wasn’t certain how to do that and I was afraid to even try.

Afraid that God (and others) would think I was selfish if I took the initiative to nurture my interests and gifts. Afraid that events in my past may have canceled out my credibility. Afraid that I might misinterpret God and make “wrong” decisions.

Then I met a new friend, Carol Travilla, and together we embarked on a journey to discover how to live courageously and intentionally for God. We learned that being “intentional” means becoming proactive instead of having a knee-jerk reaction to situations.

We met other intentional women with hearts for God. We’re all learning to accept what we cannot change about our season and circumstances, making courageous and deliberate decisions about the things we can change. At the same time, we’ve decided not to let the attitudes and pressures of other people unduly influence us. We long to be focused and directed, not floundering or driven. (And that’s a bold goal in this action-obsessed culture!)

Gradually we recognized other perks from learning to live intentionally such as stress reduction, increased self-respect, healthier relationships and less over-commitment and burnout.

How about you? Perhaps your circumstances are not exactly as you envisioned they would be at this stage of your life. Yet when you come as you are to partner with God, you can be assured that He is in the process of fulfilling His commitment to guide and produce good in you. (Eph. 2:10) You will gain courage to be yourself and stop playing the “comparison game.”

Intentional Living: Releasing People-pleasing

Intentional Living: Releasing People-pleasing

By Joan C. Webb, Author/Speaker, Life Coach www.joancwebb.com

I’ve learned (well, I am learning!) several relief-producing truths. Here’s one. People-pleasing negates personal and spiritual growth. Trying to be everything others want is an automatic crazy-maker–especially during holidays. Besides that, it wears us out and distances us from those we care about.

When you and I try too hard to please the people around us, we attempt to accomplish the impossible. How do we decide which human being to satisfy—a parent, child, colleague, boss, friend, pastor, sibling, spouse? Each of these individuals has a different image of us and often their expectations or plans for us are not consistent with our own dreams, abilities, gifts, or God-given calling.

These wise words of Paul help me: “Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts.” 1 Thessalonians 2:4. What one small step can you take this season to release your tendency to over-please and to increase your sense of peace?

Surrender? You’re Kidding!

By Joan C. Webb, Author/Speaker, Life Coach www.joancwebb.com

Gaining information about yourself is useful. It can help you choose a career, improve your skills, or assist you in understanding relationships at work and home. However, the most beneficial result of understanding who you are, where you have been, and what you desire surfaces when you take what you’ve learned and surrender it all to the One Who created and liberated you.

Surrendering moves you from being self-centered and confined to becoming God-centered and free. You can then relax, be yourself and trust. Yet surrendering is a choice. Although God doesn’t force you to commit to Him, He does invite you to join Him in His loving and powerful work here on earth. Surrendering seems counter-productive. Yet it’s the ultimate adventure!

“Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust him, and he will help you.” (Ps. 37:5 NLT)

Living Intentionally: Envious No More

By Joan C. Webb, Author/Speaker, Life Coach www.joancwebb.com

“If I live intentionally, being true to my own personality, serving out of my God-given giftedness and passion, I no longer feel the urge to envy anyone else’s career, marriage, talents, body or mission.”

The day I jotted these liberating words into my journal, I sighed with relief. Although I rarely voiced envy, I was secretly disappointed that others had fulfilled their dreams but I had not. I wanted to honor God as the woman He created me to be. Yet I wasn’t certain how to do that and I was afraid to even try.

Afraid that God (and others) would think I was selfish if I took the initiative to nurture my interests and gifts. Afraid that events in my past may have canceled out my credibility. Afraid that I might misinterpret God and make “wrong” decisions.

Then I met a new friend, Carol Travilla, and together we embarked on a journey to discover how to live courageously and intentionally for God. We learned that being “intentional” means becoming proactive instead of having a knee-jerk reaction to situations.

We met other intentional women with hearts for God. We’re all learning to accept what we cannot change about our season and circumstances, making courageous and deliberate decisions about the things we can change. At the same time, we’ve decided not to let the attitudes and pressures of other people unduly influence us. We long to be focused and directed, not floundering or driven. (And that’s a bold goal in this action-obsessed culture!)

Gradually we recognized other perks from learning to live intentionally such as stress reduction, increased self-respect, healthier relationships and less over-commitment and burnout.

How about you? Perhaps your circumstances are not exactly as you envisioned they would be at this stage of your life. Yet when you come as you are to partner with God, you can be assured that He is in the process of fulfilling His commitment to guide and produce good in you. (Eph. 2:10) You will gain courage to be yourself and stop playing the “comparison game.”

Search Me, Lead Me

Let us examine our ways and test them and let us return to the Lord.
Lamentations 3:40

I have considered my ways and have turned my steps to your statutes.
Psalm 119:59

Test me, O Lord, and try me, examine my heart and my mind.
Psalm 26:2

October is one of my favorite times of year. Not because of the harvest festivals, brilliant orange pumpkins and the promise of Thanksgiving turkey coming soon. No, I love October because I can finally open my windows. The punishing heat of the Arizona summer has lifted and fresh, desert breezes blow through the rooms of my home. October is like springtime for desert dwellers. We emerge from our dark caves where we have hidden from the sun all summer long and greet our neighbors whom we haven’t seen in six months. We get excited about cleaning closets and sweeping out the nooks and crannies of our homes in anticipation of the holiday season around the corner.

Housekeeping for our souls

Similarly, we need to do a little housekeeping and sweep the cobwebs out of the corners of our soul, throw open the windows and let the Light shine in, bringing in fresh air and fresh perspectives. The yoga principles of self-awareness and self-examination echo the biblical commands to examine our ways, to test ourselves, to search our hearts and to confess our sin and be forgiven. In Christian yoga we not only examine ourselves but we also lay ourselves open before the Lord for his examination of our hearts. Our prayer is that of David in Psalm 139:23-24:

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Through our meditation on the Bible, we have already opened our hearts and minds for examination by it. When we fill our mind with God’s word it works to probe and search our thoughts.

“For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12).

Allow time for soul-searching

After we have filled ourselves with God’s word, we need to allow time for this soul-searching. Self-examination is not something that we can hurry through. It takes time to carefully consider our ways. It helps to be still and listen.

We listen for God to speak to us in the inner promptings of our heart and conscience. Then we check these promptings against God’s word to discern his voice over our own.

“Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything“(1 John 3:18-20, emphasis added).

Are you caught in a debilitating cycle?

Sometimes we are caught in debilitating cycles of guilt and self-recrimination or self-doubt. Have I really loved God? Am I really sorry for my sin? Am I really forgiven? Objective examination of our actions against truth allows us to determine if these feelings or doubts are false or genuine. If they are false, even though we feel them deeply, we find confidence in the fact that God knows us more intimately than ourselves, that He knows everything, yet He freely forgives us anyway.

This is why self-examination must be conducted in the context of Scripture and of listening to God, and asking him to search our hearts. If we do it merely on our own, we are in danger of getting lost in our own navels and mired in the muck of self-loathing, or being deluded in the delight of self-congratulation.

Self-examination has two primary purposes: recognition, confession and repentance of sin, and developing an ordering awareness of our own soul that helps organize our lives around God, resulting in loving him with everything we’ve got.

Examination of Conscience and Confession

In the examination of conscience we search our hearts for sin and weakness for the purpose of confession and repentance. This is the practice encouraged in 1 Corinthians 11:27-29:

“A man ought to examine himself before he eats of the bread and drinks of the cup.”

The thought of shining a light into the dark recesses of our soul can be intimidating and not particularly inviting. It is scary to be vulnerable and open, even within the secrecy of our own hearts. We’d much rather not think about our sins or confront our fears and frailties.

But the exhortation to examination and confession is not for the purpose of punishment or naked exposure. It is an invitation to freedom. When Christ invites us to lay down our burdens in exchange for his yoke, one of those burdens is our sins and failures. When we hold on to sin or ignore it we add weight to the heavy load that is crippling our walk. Our souls groan under the heaviness of this baggage we cling too. When we acknowledge and confess our sins we undo the straps binding us to these deadweights and we experience lightness and freedom and joy.

The initial opening up and shining of the light can be painful like any physical examination of an ailing part of our body. I injured my shoulder recently (not practicing yoga!) and I needed a thorough examination to determine the nature of the injury. It was a very painful process of probing and testing the joint, but very necessary and now the healing can begin with appropriate therapy and care.

When we lay our sins before God and repent of them, the pain is temporary and the healing is promised. We do well to remember that we are not telling him anything he does not already know anyway!

“For a man’s ways are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all his paths”
(Proverbs 5:21).

When we open our hearts to His searching and confess our sin,

“he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103:10-12).

When I am Weak, Then I am Strong

One of the reasons I love to practice is yoga is that it makes me so much stronger. With each passing year I have given up more of my unrealistic desire for the perfect body. I will happily settle for being strong.

I was always a strong kid; never the most graceful or coordinated and not the fastest, but always strong. Then time, injuries, motherhood - life, I guess - conspired against me and I was no longer physically strong.

This past spring I was thinking a lot about wanting to be stronger and about different kinds of strength; emotional and spiritual strength that enables you to face hard circumstances and stand, brave, resolved and enduring.

Proverbs 31 describes the wife of noble character setting “about her work vigorously” with arms “strong for her tasks.” I’d think about that in yoga class. Lord, I want strong arms for my tasks! And can I get a little definition too? Nice, sculpted arms like Michelle Obama. Classy muscles.

Then, in the midst of meditating on strength and starting to feel pretty strong, I fell.

Not a private little stumble. No, it was a spectacular public spill in front of my middle school daughter and all her friends. Down like a tree, for all to see, crushing my left arm and shattering my pride. Strong? Not so much. Blind? Quite likely.

Thankfully nothing was broken but my arm hurt like it was. I ended up in a sling. And I was confronted with a graphic reminder that you cannot consider strength without thinking about weakness.

With my injury I was forced into dependence. I had to ask my kids to help with basic things like opening a peanut butter jar. I could not even open the shampoo in the shower. Simple every day tasks like getting dressed or opening a door became serious challenges.

My injured arm also caused me to move deliberately, cautiously and protectively. It occurred to me that imposed weakness is a powerful antidote to the hubris that sometimes hangs around strength.

When we are confident in our own strength we can be tempted into cockiness and even recklessness. I think of the Bible’s strong man, Samson, whose pride in his remarkable strength led to his downfall. Moving through life a little more slowly and carefully is not a bad idea.

This is one of God’s paradoxes - strength comes from weakness. When we rely on our own strength, we are weak. When we admit our weakness and trust in God, he delivers the strength we need.

When the apostle Paul pleaded with God to take away a trial that was tormenting him God answered him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). Paul then tells us that for Christ’s sake he will delight in his weaknesses, “for when I am weak, then I am strong.”

My arm recovered and I was glad to get back to regular yoga practice. I’m still pursuing strong arms and a strong body but I also want to remember who takes my weakness and makes me strong - “It is God who arms me with strength” (Psalm18:32).

Funnily enough, verse 33 says “He makes me sure-footed as a deer.” I could probably use that too!

Secure your own mask first before assisting others

Although we never anticipate a change in cabin pressure, should one occur, four oxygen masks will fall from the compartment above. Place the mask over your nose and mouth and breathe normally. If you are traveling with small children please secure yourself first and then assist the child. Finally sit back, relax, and enjoy your flight!

The flight attendant paused at my seat. We were traveling with our three children and she wanted to be sure that I understood that I must put on my own mask prior to helping the children.

I assured her that we were very familiar with the rules and turned to look into the injured and incredulous eyes of my son and daughter. “That’s not right,” my son said accusingly. “Parents are supposed to look after kids first.” My daughter was deeply perplexed and somewhat anxious, “Why should grownups get the oxygen before kids? Will there be enough for us?”

I reassured them that it was very important for me to make sure that I got the mask on quickly or I might pass out before I could help them and they would not be able to help me. They were relieved once they understood. As we settled into our flight it occurred to me that these instructions would serve us all well in life…

Although you never anticipate that you will crack under pressure, should this occur, there will not be an oxygen mask falling from above. Breathing normally will be impossible. If you are traveling with small children, or anyone else, you will be unable to assist them let alone yourself…

So often we look into the eyes of those depending on us, our families, the PTO, the church, the boss… and we can feel the pressure starting to squeeze the life out of us. We know we are starting to run out of air but somehow we muddle on, asthmatic and wheezing in our increasingly feeble efforts to meet everyone’s needs. Some of us secretly enjoy being martyrs. Some of us are just tyrannized by the urgent and the immediate. But we’re all desperate for someone to give us permission to look after ourselves, for instructions to secure our own mask first.

If there was ever someone relentlessly hounded by the needs of others it was Jesus. The crowds were always chasing Jesus, wanting him to teach them, to touch them, to heal them, to feed them. However, we read that Jesus made a regular habit of rising early and seeking time alone, meeting with his Father in prayer. He modeled the discipline of solitude for his disciples and in Mark 6:31-32 we see a beautiful picture of this:

The apostles gathered around Jesus and reported to him all they had done and taught. Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place.

What do you need to do to make sure you have enough air to keep going? Are you looking after your body well? Are you eating well, sleeping enough? Exercising? But, most importantly, what about your soul? We all benefit from some solitude for the sake of soul care.

In the frenzy, we need to find a quiet center where we can be still and know that God is God and ask Him to search our hearts and know our anxious thoughts. Our moments of solitude with God may be brief at times but they will sustain us - He will sustain us. The moment you step out of your quiet place, everyone will be clamoring for you, but you will be far better equipped to rise to the challenges before you, with compassion and grace.

So stop a moment. Grab that oxygen mask firmly and secure yourself, body and soul, before you attempt to assist others. Finally sit back, relax, and enjoy your flight!

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